Monday, May 26, 2014

Do You Remember Decoration Day?


Thank you to all of the members of American Legion Rex Strait Post 103, VFW Post 6960, VFW and American Legion Auxiliaries in Rock Rapids for inviting me to speak at your Memorial Day Service today.  We did record a good portion of the program but our sound quality did not work well.  If there is anyone who has a version with good sound quality, please let me know.  I am including a transcript of the message portion I shared today.  

Good morning and happy decoration day or as we know it now Memorial Day. I thank all of you for allowing me to speak with you today and am honored that on this important day where we remember those who have died in military service, that you have asked me, a simple man from Northwest Iowa to share some thoughts and ideas about the day with you. I did not know if I would be able to live up to the great expectations of speeches that I have heard at other Memorial Day services in the past. But maybe my greatest gift for everyone today will be to help young and old understand a little bit more about some of the customs that we have at the cemetery on this day.

One of my bigger questions that I have had about this day that no one has been able to answer well is, why do we honor or bring flowers & decorations to graves of men and women or children who did not die while in service? I searched for answers in books in history and on the Internet without ever finding a real answer so I went back into my own experiences before I came up with what I think is the answer for all of us today.

The answer starts with a story. When I was between younger, about 10 years old, one of my jobs around Memorial Day was to accompany my grandma Elma in her 1967 gold colored four-door Plymouth Fury to all of the local cemeteries. I would help her load the trunk and the backseat of that car with 5 gallon pails of dirt, plastic flowers, real flowers, water cans, garden tools, hoes, spades, grass clippers, and even cleaning supplies. My job was to accompany and help her decorate the graves of great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and many friends. As we traveled between country churches and small-town cemeteries she would tell me stories about relatives and friends that lived on certain farm places and in local small towns. When we got to the cemeteries and as we began to work to clean the headstones and place flowers and decorations, she would continue to tell stories about some of the things that these people had done while they were alive. It was very important for her to make sure that I knew the stories. On several occasions she even said to take special care that I remember the stories and the locations of the graves because I might be one of the last in our generations to have some direct link with the past. That might be one of the reasons that I like to hear the local stories and try to remember as many as I can, although I wish I would've written down many more.

Everything that has ever happened has been given to us as an example. We know that those who have died in service are some of the best examples of Americanism that we can ever have. And I know we sometimes decorate graves of the recently deceased either in our grieving or in a celebration of their life. But I think that reason that we honor and decorate gravesites of nearly forgotten relatives who had no military service is that they were also, in their own way, examples for us of patriotism as well. The stories that my grandma wanted me to remember were about the character of the people that she talked about, not so much about any specific thing that they did.  So what were the stories about and do they show some of the characteristics of a true American?

If these people were examples to us, what was in their character that was so important that my grandma wanted me to remember, to learn from, and to pass along. In short what made them bad or good people, or bad or good Americans. One of the first things that I know was important in her stories was that these people had a love for each other and for God. She would also share about their contented and happy lives and how they could find great joy in the simplest of day-to-day events. It seemed that most of them lived in harmony with their neighbors that included a gentle quietness, and the ability to work as one with relatives or neighbors when the need arose. They had great self-control in difficult circumstances. Most were kind and moral people, although she also gave me some examples of the not so kind and not so moral. There were stories about belief and trust in the future of our country and some of the things that they did to demonstrate that faith.  Some were graced with humility, the ability to praise others more than themselves and their consideration for other people.  I think what she was trying to do was to teach me in her own way about patriotism, history, faith, what was important to try to do, and what was important to avoid. Most were the traits of a good American and a good citizen.

I think she used these examples because they were people and situations that she had known about firsthand.  And I think that's why we all use relatives and friends as examples for our own families. This is something I think we need to explain better to our children so that they too can understand why we are at the cemetery today and why we decorate graves.

One of the more surprising things to me was that after looking at the best characteristics of a good American I was reminded of several Bible verses. Verses come from Galatians 6:22 and 23, and it says:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance: against such there is no law.

If anyone would ever ask you about whether or not United States of America was founded on biblical principle you now have one of the best arguments that proves that this is true. Whether it's the service man or woman or a local friend or relative their example of love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance reveals the fruit of the Spirit shining through them and woven thickly into our history.

And I want to take one moment to speak to that person who's here today who would tell me that they have had a lousy life. They had bad parents, or bad relatives, or bad friend, or bad circumstances and that they will never be able to enjoy that fruit of the Spirit that we talk about today. Let me give that person a reason to rejoice in hope for the future. If you can thank your parents for nothing more, honor them for the simple reason that you are here today. Without the two of them you would not exist. Thank God for them for that reason. Thank God that you have the common sense to recognize bad characteristics of friends or relatives. Through those examples you realize what you do not want to become. The choice to change or the choice to learn from those examples is your responsibility. Your choices determine what type of an example you will be in the future.


Today, and every day, please, talk to your friends and your family about the people who have been laid to rest in this cemetery. Talk to them about the good and bad using each as an example. Explain to your children about the veterans laid to rest and why we are here. Explain to them also about your friends and families and histories that are the examples they can use in their futures. While you are doing this you will also be setting one of the finest examples of being an American, teaching by example. Past and present examples, one of the reasons we are here today. Please don't waste any opportunity to share.  Thank you to all of our veterans, and let us humbly and proudly honor those today who gave their lives for our country, our finest example of the fruit of their spirit.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you and a very good speech. I too went with my grandmother and mother to the graves with the lilacs and other flowers. Yes, I have cleaned grave stones.

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  2. One parent told me this might become part of their new family tradition. It only takes one to start.

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